Thursday, February 4, 2010

Kitchen Wisdom from Two Famous Women

I saw this in one of those email jokes and had to include part of it here.

We all can use a good laugh now and then, right? Especially when we're revising, or waiting on agents and publishers, or wondering what that agent or publisher means, or...?

I won't say which cook I probably more resemble. haa!

Kitchen Wisdom from Martha and Maxine

Martha: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of an ice cream cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Max: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete 's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway!

Martha: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Max: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix. Keeps in the pantry for up to a year.

Martha: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

Max: Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you!

Martha: If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant 'fix-me-up.'

Max: If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: 'I made it, you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!'

Martha: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

Max: Celery? Never heard of it!

Martha: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

Max: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I don't.

Martha: Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Max: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! All your pains go away!

** Laugh and maybe that manuscript will look a little better! (Maybe!) haa!


~*~The Happy Homemaker~*~ said...

So funny! I'm Martha on the inside...but catch me on a bad day...and Maxine slips out!

Dana Fredsti said...

I think I lean more towards Maxine, mainly 'cause Martha's fussiness drives me mad.