One of my earliest memories is of my mother putting me up on the kitchen counter so I could get cans of food out for supper (I was 3). But the older I got, the less she liked my getting on the counter. No sitting on the counter, no sitting on the table. "You don't look like Marlena Dietrich to me," she would say.
The VERY FIRST THING I did when I had my own place was... sit on the table.
Although I didn't know what she meant until I saw Dietrich standing and singing on the bar in DESTRY RIDES AGAIN, I also discouraged my children from sitting on desks and tables by saying, "Get off the _____, Marlena!" My youngest tells me that the VERY FIRST THING she did when she had her own place was.... You're way ahead of me.
Now it's my cat. Her name is Katya, but I should have named her Marlena. She has her own chair with a pillow on it here in the office, and her own padded kitty place on the bookshelf, when I certainly have books I could have put there, and still she-- GET OFF THE DESK, MARLENA!!
In other news, I was about to roll out biscuits on the counter and, as I always do, cleaned the surface well beforehand. Good thing, too, because I found.... How shall I put this? A certain person, who shall be nameless, but who lives in a two-person household and isn't me, often cuts his fingernails in the kitchen. Don't ask me why. You KNOW how active fingernails get when they're cut: as soon as they get free from your finger, they go flying off, trying to achieve earth orbit.... Well, so we almost had a Sweeney Todd moment when we ate the biscuits. Fortunately, I pre-empted that.
The biscuits were good.