Tuesday, February 24, 2009

The Holiday Named After Me

Happy FAT TUESDAY! My name isn't Tuesday, so guess which part is named after me? Mardi Gras sounds a lot nicer, but Mardi Gras is just Cajun French for Fat Tuesday, so....

My mother and I went to the Mardi Gras Jambalaya dinner at the local Presbyterian Church, which they have the Saturday before Ash Wednesday. Great food, great music (recorded, alas), good company, and a fine time was had by all. They had chicken or sausage jambalaya, red beans and rice, salad and dessert.

One of the desserts was King Cake, a cake with cream filling. A sweet little baby Jesus was baked into the King Cake. If you found the sweet little baby Jesus in your cake you won a prize. Mom and I were like... yeah... okay.... I'll have the pecan pie.

So OF COURSE I was thinking what if you accidentally swallowed the sweet little baby Jesus and choked to death? What if somebody stuck a poisoned or allergen-coated sweet little baby Jesus in YOUR slice of cake? I mean, like, what if you were allergic to almonds and somebody made a sweet little baby Jesus out of almond paste or something? Good plot ideas, eh?

Then Mom and I went out to the car, and one of our tires was flat. Should be fat, but was flat. Not totally flat, but almost flat. I couldn't get my husband on the horn and I couldn't find my AAA card. I'm like, "There's a filling station just down the road. I'll go pump up the tire. If it holds, I'll drive home."

So we went to the filling station--one of those convenience stores--and found the air pump. Cost 75 cents. I'm like, "Free as the WHAT? Free as the AIR, people! Air is FREE!" But the sticker on the pump replied that the air was free but the delivery system cost 75 cents. Slick. Anyway, I pumped up the tire, it held, I drove home. The tire is still pumped. Somebody obviously let the air out of the tire, then replaced the valve cap.

Mom said, "Why? We have to get Monk to solve this case." So I looked at the tire and held my hands funny and said, "I've solved the case. Here's what happened: Somebody wanted us at that filling station, but we never go there. The only way they could get us there was to make it the ONLY place we COULD go. So they let enough air out of our tire that we couldn't help noticing it, but not enough to make it impossible to drive. The only thing we could have done was DRIVE TO THAT FILLING STATION TO PUMP UP THE TIRE."

Nothing happened at the filling station or because we went to that filling station, but that didn't make my solution any less brilliant. Another plot idea!

I'm telling you, if I weren't Dale the Whale's good twin, I would be dangerous!



Gayle said...

Tsk, tsk, Marion. That holiday was named for ME. I love your sinister story, by the way. :-)

Dana Fredsti said...

Hey, I was gonna claim the 'fat' part of 'tuesday'!