Friday, August 29, 2008

Happy Birthday . . . Or April Fool?!

Rudest. . . prank. . .ever.

Last week I received a postcard from a local "creamery & caffe" [sic] wishing me a "Happy Birthday" and inviting me to "enjoy lunch on us!" I looked the place up online, decided what I was going to have and eagerly made my way to the restaurant. It was closed. No, I don't mean it wasn't open yet. It was CLOSED. There were "Restaurant Equipment for Lease" signs in the windows. I'd planned on having the "famous" chicken salad wrap and homemade ice cream. With a sigh, I drove to another restaurant, placed a to-go order and then went home to eat it. I had my wrap--although instead of chicken salad, it was a soft taco. And I even had my ice cream--not homemade, but a Slim-A-Bear.

Still, I was ever so put out. I got the card a WEEK ago. . . not a month, not six weeks, but a matter of days. Did they send out the card on the day they decided to close down? The whole ordeal made me snarky, and I wanted to return when I was less hungry with a huge red marker and correct everyone's grammatically incorrect signs. Like this one at a church: "Can't sleep? Don't count sheep. Talk to the sheppard." You know Jesus is closing his eyes and shaking his head over that one. Might as well put this on your church sign: Come on in. We don't read the Bibble!" A sign at an insurance company read: "School is in. Drive Careful." I tried to reason this one out--it was before I got to the restaurant and saw that it had shut down so I was in a better frame of mind. It could be considered correct, I suppose, if it read, "School is in drive. Careful!" I understand vandalism so much better right now. I'm getting a black ninja outfit and a can of red spray paint and I'm hitting the road. On the church sign, I'll cross out SHEPPARD and put, "Talk to the SHEPHERD! Do you WANT to go to hell?" On the insurance sign, I'll write "Your grammar makes people wreck. Is that your goal?" And on the restaurant, I'll try to reproduce the above cake from Cake Wrecks so they can fully accomplish their goal of trashing somebody's birthday.

Then again, maybe I'd better not mess with the signs.... (

I hope you all realize this was tongue-in-cheek. :-p


Marian Allen said...

Oh, man, that was brutal! I'm guessing they paid a mailing service to send those cards out and forgot to cancel. Ouch.

Gayle said...

Probably. But, man, I was disappointed! LOL!

Marian Allen said...

Yeah, well, depending on what body part that cake is resting upon, you might want to delete the tongue-in-cheek comment.

Anyway, I loved the Grammar Police article, as well as your justified rant. Pipple hoo carnt spehl r wurss den pipple hoo carnt youse ponostrophes rite!

zhadi said...

Might as well put this on your church sign: Come on in. We don't read the Bibble!"

HAHAHHAH!!!!! Priceless... Thank you for a good laugh on one hand, but a huge sympathetic hug for your dashed luncheon hopes on the other.

Gayle said...

Thanks, Dana. Yore write, Marian. Pipple who cant spill get on yore nurves. Actually, Tim used to work with a woman who put up a sign when the company was holding a contest. She wrote on the sign that the prize was a "stake diner." Hey, it got through spell check! ;-)

Marian Allen said...

A stake diner? That would be a vampire, right?