Tuesday, July 1, 2008

If Life Hands You Lemons..er...Cherries....

Charlie's friend Royce gave us MASSES of cherries, and I just did not want to pit all of them. Charlie helped me pit enough for a cherry buckle, and then he said, "Why don't you go downtown and get a wine-making kit and make some wine?" So I went down and the guy at the shop said, "Sounds like you only need to make a gallon. I can fix you up with everything you need." So he collected about $20 worth of stuff, about a third the cost of the cheapest kit, and I took it home. I was STILL supposed to pit the cherries, but I said the heck with that and just cooked them until the got squishy and pressed the juice out of them. THEN I read the instruction book more closely, and it said I needed 6 cups of fruit and 7 QUARTS of water and 2 3/4 POUNDS of sugar--and it was supposed to make one gallon? I'm not much good at math, but even I can tell that adds up to more than one gallon! Then it said to keep it in the primary holding vessel until it reaches SG [forgot the number] on the hydrometer. Guess who doesn't have a hydrometer--or even know what it is? So I put all the gear back in the bag with the sales slip and made cherry jelly instead. Except that the Sure-Jell didn't gel, so I have five pints (after cooking it down to concentrate it) of cherry slop. Charlie says he'll just eat it over ice cream. Which reminds me--I forgot to get ice cream today! Ah, me!

4 comments:

Gayle said...

Bless your heart! It sounds like you might have to have a big ice cream party and invite the entire neighborhood. ;-)

Marian Allen said...

It gets worse. I took all the untouched gear back today. No problem--they gave me back my money with a smile. The problem was when I picked up the recipe book to show them my problem and it no longer called for seven quarts of water, it called for seven PINTS. That wouldn't have made up for my not having a hydrometer--I still didn't have that--but still.... My face was as red as the cherry juice.

And I thought, what if somebody new to the country decided to make peace with an enemy by baking him a pie made from that big healthy patch of rhubarb in her new-bought garden, and didn't read the part of the instructions that says "discard leaves" (in case you don't know, the leaves are toxic)?

A history of bubble-headedness would be the only possible defense. I would walk, for sure.

zhadi said...

We used to make brandy out of all the excess fruit we'd get from neighbors and our periodically overactive apricot/plum trees. I wonder if it's too late to put some of the cherry slop into some vodka with sugar and let it sit for a while....

Wouldn't you hate to have been the person to discover the rhubarb leaves are toxic?

Gayle said...

The bad part, I'd have probably wondered, "What happened to him? Here, want some rhubarb leaves?" LOL!